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| soooo how is it that i have 139 footprints this week and only 2 comments?!?! either there are a lot of creepy people out there stalking me, or you guys seriously have got to learn how to comment!!!! | Currently Listening
Pride & Prejudice
By Caroline Dale, Benjamin Wallfisch, William Lyons, English Chamber Orchestra, Jean-Yves Thibaudet, Aidan Broadbridge
Dawn
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| so i'm goign to post some copeland lyrics, but i swear i'm not just jumping on the train. they're just that good. i read this out loud to my roommate and almost started crying. my goodness it's like my heart speaks in the form of copeland!!
Control Freak
You lose control when you hold too tight
or turn your head long enough to let it bite
and faith left me staring at the ceiling
through the night
it's freaking me out
And when I fell asleep it plagued my dreams
and 30 bits of glass had become my teeth
they were breaking each and every time
i tried to speak
it's freaking me out
you're freaking me out
and i might run like a coward for the door
you're freaking me out
you lose your mind if you lose control
it makes you feel ashamed
for the hearts you stole
and now your own heart's
scared of an attack
because you can't give them back
you're stressing me out
when you prove me wrong
you're wearing me out
because i've searched so long
throwing it all away i blew it all
and threw it all away
but the best part is
not knowing just what i threw away
BUY THE NEW CD!! | | |
| so i had a really good conversation last night with a dear friend. i'll share a bit of it with you. so basically i feel like i have forgotten who i am a little bit. i think i have such an aversion to being a judgmental Christian that i have gone the opposite direction and have become straight up lazy in my faith.
but to be lazy in my faith means that i'm straight up ignoring God. like, if you imagine God as a fog that constantly surrounds you everywhere you go, to ignore Him, to ignore the Holy Spirit, is an active choice. you actually have to turn your face and close your eyes to get away from it.
i'm so scared i'll become one of "those" Christians like mandy moore in Saved that i strive to understand what the lost are going through... but sometimes i just blatantly ignore the fact that by trying so hard to relate, i block God's light from shining through me. it becomes shadowed by my compromises. and there is a way to be Christlike and not be mandy moore in Saved, and i have been that before. but it takes effort. and lately, the only things i have poured my effort into are broken vessels of earthly glory.
it's so easy to get wrapped up in a semblance of purpose, but in reality it's just running in place.... and getting really tired doing it. this morning was the first morning in weeks that i really hit the ground running and i feel like i actually got somewhere. not just getting assignments done and tasks finished, but actually living w/ purpose and w/ a smile on my face. having joy and not just happiness.
i was reminded last night of what i used to dream for myself when i was like 10. i wanted people to write books about me when i died. i wanted to look at an array of life choices and by default always choose the craziest one because i dont get to be 18 forever. i couldnt wait to be in college and to be on my own because i could make my days whatever i wanted them to be. and in my mind, "whatever i wanted them to be" was never boring. every day mattered. as my sister describes it, "leaving a legacy."
so here i am, heaping up earthly titles and accomplishments, and i find satisfaction in the fact that i'm following God's plan for my career... but that's not enough. 10 year old Chelsea never dreamed her life would only consist of her career. so i'm praying that God will help me with my blindness.
and in the meantime, i miss you all horribly. hopefully i'll get to see some of you at thanksgiving! | | |
| ohhh xanga. if i only had more time for you!
i miss you guys. i really do! i'm going to be home oct 4-8 if anyone wants to say hiiii. i would love to see you guys who are in town.
so the last issue of Time had some veeeerry interesting stuff about Christians and money and Joel Osteen (the bane of my existence. next to ann coulter). i think yall should try and get your hands on it. in fact, i'm going to help you out with that. read this!! http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1533448,00.html yes, it's very long, but give it a shot. as soon as i get a gander at this week's issue, i'm going to delve into the letters to the editor on it b/c i'm so curious about what Christians have to say for themselves on this topic. i guess if i was really passionnate about it i would have written one myself.... but i have no time even for xanga! and if i have no time for xanga than i obviously have no time for anything :)
so read it and holla back! i miss yall!!
P.S. yall should check out Jose Gonzalez. i went to his show in asheville last weekend... oh my word. what an experience. just him and his classical guitar but i have rarely heard such breathtaking live music. check him out! | | |
| hey yall, i severely apologize for the lack of updatage! however, i will now give you a brief synopsis of my time at milligan so far:
i love college! being on my own is fantastic. classes are interesting and not horribly challenging. i am slowly easing in to working for the newspaper, and making friends like nobody's business. the people here are really great. soooo different from sacs, but so illuminating. i went and chopped my hair off the other day (see profile pic to witness me and lindsay's new do's). i'm rather pleased with it. it was a good time. and ooohh my goodness i'm in love with shared network itunes! there is nothing so fantastic as having an enooooormous shared library of music all the time.
but ya i'm doing really good. and i'm super sorry for not updating!
so lately i have been pondering the idea of identity. i guess since i've been in a new state w/ basically no one who knows me on this campus, i've been thinking about what kind of impression i want to give off to people. i'm assuming many of you have been dealing with the same situation. but is the impression i give off really who i am? or are the two things separate? or do they slowly congeal into the same thing? and what defines who i am? the music i like, the way i dress, my beliefs, the way i behave despite my beliefs, my gifts/talents, my aspirations, my friends, my experiences in general...? at what level of relationship does someone really and truly know me? as derek zoolander would say, "who am i?" or more accurately, what makes me Me? and can my identity change, or am i stuck with/blessed with whatever i've been given at birth? holla back yall. i want to hear your thoughts
p.s. the song is belle & sebastian, my favorite new interest.
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